Number 8: 3,000 Words, Plus A Few Of My Own

I am thankful for many things but will leave the introspective Thanksgiving blogging to others. Tomorrow is that special day of the year when I watch a Detroit Lions game from start to finish and love every minute of it. Happy Thanksgiving.


Support the economy, and Kanye's ego, and buy this album. I couldn't decide whether it was cooler to love this album or hate it for not being like Kanye's previous material, so I just decided to be real into it. I'm also very happy that I can now say I was a part of his victory over Guns N' Roses in first week sales. A loss for Axl Rose is a victory for society's collective ear. Thanks Yeezy.


This is Floyd. He is a vagabond. He is my friend. We communicate semi-frequently by email. I have been working on writing the story of our relationship and time together. I hope to share it soon. A woman took this picture of him playing guitar outside of a shop in North Carolina and he sent it to me today. I thought it was phenomenal. Perhaps you agree.


Here's to tryptophan naps and floating cartoon characters,

Steven

Number 7: A Letter

Dear Girls Who Wear UGG Boots, Particularly With Shorts,

I hope you know that it is with sincere concern and humility that I write to you. I am not a fashion expert. In fact, I am rather bad at dressing myself in things that are either seasonally appropriate or regionally fashionable. I am, however, hopelessly opinionated and so I felt it necessary to begin a dialogue, albeit one-sided, about this issue.

I think that your shorts defeat the purpose of your boots.

With all due respect and brotherly love,
Steven Hale

PS - I should note that I have not been to Alaska. If the Inuit people are not only sending us Vice Presidential candidates, but also setting fashion trends then I concede the above point and will probably go buy some UGG boots.

PPS - I should also note that my main problem with this trend is that if UGG boots are cool then I will probably have to go buy some as I continue in the pursuit of having friends.

PPPS - I realize that UGG boots have actually been out and in for sometime now. Consider this letter as not only a current statement of my opinion on them, but also a retroactive one.

Number 6: Looking for Scissors in the Silverware Drawer

I heard that about four people read these and to you I am sorry that it has been a while. I have had this illness called politics for a while now. It's symptoms are yelling at your TV, thinking you're right, and looking for hope in the wrong place. I feel better now though.

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I have this friend who has been telling me every time I see him for several weeks now that God thinks I'm awesome. Once I accept the possibility that God uses terms like 'awesome' it blows my mind. I never know how to respond except with a weak "God thinks you're awesome too". Hearing that just wrecks me for some reason and I guess part of me wants to just lighten the mood rather than deal with the weight of that statement.

I think its because most of the time I figure God thinks I'm awful.

The same friend told me that some smart people somewhere figured out that most people view themselves the way they think the most important person in their life views them. And so I guess if you walk around doubting God's love for you it will make it difficult to love yourself.

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You know the phrase "looking for love in all the wrong places"? It ends up in every other terrible country song.

I was thinking about looking for things in the wrong places the other day and I realized that there are two reasons why I look for things in the wrong place.

1. I don't know where said 'things' come from.
2. I have found said 'things' in the wrong place before.

This happens in my house all the time. I imagine that in your parents house, like mine, things have a certain place and you can usually count on them being there. However, in my house, maybe like yours, things have a certain place and you can usually count on them not being there. Several times a day I find myself looking for things in my house. A lot of times the scenario goes something like this; I know we have duct tape. I don't know where the duct tape belongs. I must check everywhere in the house. At other times the scenario goes a bit differently. Perhaps more like this; I know we have scissors. On Tuesday they were in the silverware drawer. I don't know if that is where they belong, but I'll check their first. Aha! The scissors are in the silverware drawer. I will put them back where I found them. The scissors now belong in the silverware drawer.

And the thing is scissors sort of resemble silverware. So it doesn't seem that weird.

I think that I tend to look for love, hope, peace, satisfaction, and fulfillment in the wrong place. Sometimes I think it is because I have forgotten where these things come from. So, naturally, I go looking for them throughout my day and often go to bed feeling empty. Other times I think that I go looking for these things in the places where I feel I have found them before. And the problem is that I may find them again, and they may resemble the love, hope, peace, satisfaction, and fulfillment that I desire, but until I acknowledge where they come from, where they belong, I don't think I will go to bed full.

I think that I doubt God's love sometimes because of this. I think that even if I feel love from my girlfriend, my friends, and my parents, I question it because I often fail to acknoweldge the source of love itself.

I think that when I don't understand that God does loves me I go looking for love and fulfillment somewhere else. And because I do not find in its fullest form I begin to view myself as unlovable and worthless.

God does love you.

The love you find in your life comes from and belongs to him.

The scissors do not belong in the silverware drawer.

Number 5: Plus or Minus 10 Reasons Why the Government Should Bail Me Out

1. I'm broke.

2. I'm broke because of my own poor financial decisions.

3. While my name does not appear on Manchester United Jerseys, I can and, if assisted by the government will, support them by watching any final they appear in. I will also play as them in any and all FIFA Soccer games and and from this point forward refer to the beautiful game not as soccer, but as futbol.

4. If the government bails me out, it can easily be made into a reality TV show. Stupid? Yes. Boring? Yes. Ratings? Yes.

5. I give better loans than AIG ever has. When I cover my friends lunch at Chick-fil-a I don't demand repayment. They cover me when I'm short a few bucks at a later date and no one loses their house.

6. Because I've been watching CNBC lately and I'd love to watch some of these guys on the floor of the stock market talking about me. I would also like to be a part of the ticker located on the bottom of your screen. My stock is always going up.

7. Because its all theoretical money anyway. If the government is gonna be dishing out cash based off of IOUs from poorer nations they might as well throw some my way.

8. I can be bought. I'll vote Republican for 85 mill.

9. I've always wanted to meet David Letterman and I figure if the government bails me out I might be able to arrange that.

Number 4: The White Man (A Manifesto)

This guy. This arrogant man who stands there thinking he's better than everyone else. Thinking that he makes the rules and everyone else has to either follow them, or accept that they're beneath him. He stands there emotionless, controlling the world. Ordering us all about. Telling us what to do and when to do it. What not to do and when not to do it.

For years it has been this way. Sometimes you think you've finally made it to a place far from his suffocating influence. But then there he is, right around the corner, telling you what to do and when to do it.

And the problem is that we sit by and watch. We do nothing to end the tyranny. We just stand there and watch. Like generations before us that have stood at the corner of injustice and action and lacked the courage to move. Like Europe appeasing Hitler. Giving in and giving in until eventually they were all marching. Marching whenever and wherever he told them to.

And sadly this is what too many of us have become. Robots, marching to and fro whenever this arrogant man tells us to. Like sheep following a wolf in shepherd's clothing.

We were meant for more.

The greatest men and women in history did not wait for permission to act. They did not care to appease a tired old man who by some sick luck controls society. The greatest men and women, the men and women that people write books about, marched boldly where they chose and when they chose. So shall we.

This man has held us with an iron grip for too long. He has stood there and told us what to do and when to do it, without even the decency to speak to us. He just stares, knowing that upon his vile signal we will march to the beat of his out-of-tune drum. No more.

This man is not greater than us, he is small and weak. He is not courageous like us, he wishes for us to live a neat, safe, conservative life until we die.

And he has the audacity to tell me when to cross the street.

No more.

Jay-Walk...By Any Means Necessary

Number 3: Labor Day (And Run-On Sentences)

So if you don't have a job what do you do on Labor Day?

I guess you could just sit around and watch meteorologists guess about which way hurricanes will go and try to figure out how a 6 foot wall is supposed to hold out the ocean and how Anderson Cooper is managing to stay standing in that wind and then you could watch the people on tv, who tell us all what to think, and learn about VP candidates and their pregnant daughters all while the little ticker on the bottom of the screen is casually telling you the number of deaths in Iraq and Afghanistan as if it's some sort of sports statistic.

Sad

But if Brandt is back in town you could go to Moe's with the guys and be blown away by how expensive a cup of queso is and on the way home fortune might smile on you and you could end up with an entire street sign, pole and all, in your house and after a shower you could get free chicken strips at Chick-fil-A just for wearing an Auburn t-shirt and bump into friends at wal-mart and spend the rest of the evening with your beautiful girlfriend.

Happy

ps- did you know, on the CNN ticker, they tell you how many days are left in the year. Really though, right now it says "There are 120 days left in the year". That is on the ticker? Really? I just can't find a reason why I need to know that as opposed to just the date or time or anything else really. Come on.

Number 2: What do you want to do?

I want to dream. I want to dream and be crazy enough to believe it can happen.

I want to make people sing. I want to write songs that awaken something in someone. Even if its just one someone. I want to write a song that people hear and feel like they could have written because they've felt the same way.

I want to love. Hopelessly. Because I can't help it.

I want a free Irish Creme Latte every day.

I want to be angry. Beautifully angry. The kind of angry that moves me to action.

I want to tell people that there is hope.

I want to write. I want to write because one time I read The Catcher in the Rye and it moved me. It took me to a different place. I would sit for hours and pretend that Holden Caulfield was real. I want to give people a way to escape reality and at the same time help them to deal with reality. I want to write because there's not enough room in my head for all this stuff.

I want to have The National playing in some part of my brain most if not all of the time.

I want to get married.

I want to be able to feed her with the lights on.

I want to live on a stage, I want to play my guitar, and I want to get paid...or I just want to listen to The Snake, The Cross, The Crown. Either one.

I want to bring heaven to earth.

I want to adopt a child.

I want to be evidence of God's glory.

I want to be in good shape at 35.

But I'll settle for ok shape at 30.

I want to make an impact.

I want to graduate college...really I do.

I want to be a good Dad.

I want to be there when God heals people, redeems people, rescues people.

But I don't really know what I want to do exactly.

What do you want to do?

-steven

Number 1 (Plus or Minus 10 Thoughts on The Dark Knight)

1. Heath Ledger should win an Oscar for his role as The Joker. He created on of the most convincing and compelling characters I have ever seen in a film. He was perfect.

2. Christian Bale is the only actor who should ever play or ever should have played Batman. Michael Keaton is an alright Bruce Wayne, but look at the guy. You should never feel like you can beat up Batman. Val Kilmer is probably second best in my opinion but I think thats mostly because I continue to give him a pass because of his performance as Doc Holliday in Tombstone. George Clooney...no comment.

3. The people in front of me at the midnight showing who excitedly realized who Harvey Dent might become at about the 2 hour mark should not have been admitted to the theater. If you are going to casually stumble into the premiere of the second installment of a widely known story with widely understood characters, don't bother the rest of the theater with your ignorance. Go on a Tuesday afternoon.

4. Christopher Nolan is the best Batman director. I love Tim Burton but it is as if Nolan grew up in Gotham City and is simply relaying that experience to me on screen. I don't feel like Batman Forever and Batman and Robin even deserve mention when compared to Nolan's work.

5. Batman Begins was great. The development of Bruce Wayne / Batman and his relationship with the city of Gotham was phenomenal. The Dark Knight was better. Even after all the hype and anticipation, it delivered.

6. Maggie Gyllenhaal was a good replacement for Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes. Gyllenhaal actually looks like an older Katie Holmes which made it work for me. But since she's only a year older than Holmes, I probably shouldn't tell her that.

7. I wonder who the villain in the next movie will be.

8. The trailer for yet another Mummy movie should not even be played in the same theater as The Dark Knight, let alone before the film itself. Wasn't Jet Li's last movie years ago?

9. I felt like Batman's deep voice was close to over doing it, but obviously he can't talk the same as he does as Bruce Wayne. I know Clark Kent just takes off the glasses and no one notices the difference, but this is Gotham. This city has a better class of criminal. They'd see right through it.

10. I, along with most of the theater I was in, stayed through all of the ending credits hoping that the film makers would give us something extra for our devotion. They should have, but they gave me more in ten minutes of The Dark Knight than some do in an entire film so I wont hold it against them.

-steven

ps- It is also my opinion that any negative review of this film is a writer's attempt to move up the ladder at work by bashing a huge film. I'm looking at you Armond White of the New York Press.