I decided I was listening to music the wrong way so I'll continue the list later.
Anyway, its nothing personal Mr. President.
1. Sarah Palin - Look, she wakes up every morning a spit ball away from Russia and she hasn't started anything yet. Granted there was the whole turkey drowning situation and her feud with David Letterman, but in an effort to not offend any one news publication, she reads them all; what could be more peaceful? This maverick for the Nobel Peace Prize? You 'betcha.
2. Kanye West - I'm sure you disagree, but then again you probably don't care about black people either. First of all, he, like the President is from Chicago. After losing the Olympic bid and watching the Cubs for the last 100 years, I think this city deserves a bone. Secondly, you may think what he did at the VMAs was anything but peaceful, but I disagree. For one thing, Taylor Swift sucks. But more importantly, by interrupting her moment, West won a victory for peace. Swift's lyrics are the antithesis of peaceful and only encourage cafeteria confrontation. Take this lyric for instance; "She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts / She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers." Do our schools really need this kind of influence? Kanye West is not a jerk for interrupting a celebration of this kind of incindiary lyricism, he is a hero. And before you go petting your debate skills by bringing up Yeezy lyrics which you find offensive ask yourself this; is the world a better place thanks to Kanye's head on confrontation of world issues such as the proliferation of "Drunk and Hot Girls?" Yes. A thousand times yes.
3. Bob Dylan - I have no argument for this choice other than to say that if there is an award, Bob Dylan should win it at least once.
4. Beyonce - Miss Sasha Feirce deserves the Peace Prize for her efforts to bridge the gap between single ladies and their commitmentless boy toys. Barack Obama has a way with words? Please. Go try to tell someone they need to man up in a more sophisticated and inspiring way than "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it." You can't. Add to that dance moves and Jay Z as your husband and I say the free world owes you a debt.
5. Sarah Palin - Anyone with this many credentials deserves two slots on the list. The former Governor's moose hunting adventures are well documented and for that she deserves the prize. Every year in Alaska there are more moose related deaths than bear related deaths. Doesn't hold a candle to the amount of deaths from lack of health insurance but who's counting. She thins the moose population and that promotes peace.
6. Geraldo Rivera - You know because of his investigative reporting and all....ok not really. The guy's a douche bag.
7. Ghandi - This one's actually kind of serious. This guy inspires more peace posthumously then most do currently.
8. Jimmy Fallon - I used to have a lack of peace within myself about which late night show to watch. Letterman or Conan? I love both so dearly that I could harldy deal with the conflict. Couple that with the arguments that are sure to pop up amongst friends about who is better. Not to worry anymore though. Jimmy Fallon's show is so awful that we can all peacefully lay in traffic together and feel less awkward than if we were to watch him.
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