Number 6: Looking for Scissors in the Silverware Drawer

I heard that about four people read these and to you I am sorry that it has been a while. I have had this illness called politics for a while now. It's symptoms are yelling at your TV, thinking you're right, and looking for hope in the wrong place. I feel better now though.

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I have this friend who has been telling me every time I see him for several weeks now that God thinks I'm awesome. Once I accept the possibility that God uses terms like 'awesome' it blows my mind. I never know how to respond except with a weak "God thinks you're awesome too". Hearing that just wrecks me for some reason and I guess part of me wants to just lighten the mood rather than deal with the weight of that statement.

I think its because most of the time I figure God thinks I'm awful.

The same friend told me that some smart people somewhere figured out that most people view themselves the way they think the most important person in their life views them. And so I guess if you walk around doubting God's love for you it will make it difficult to love yourself.

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You know the phrase "looking for love in all the wrong places"? It ends up in every other terrible country song.

I was thinking about looking for things in the wrong places the other day and I realized that there are two reasons why I look for things in the wrong place.

1. I don't know where said 'things' come from.
2. I have found said 'things' in the wrong place before.

This happens in my house all the time. I imagine that in your parents house, like mine, things have a certain place and you can usually count on them being there. However, in my house, maybe like yours, things have a certain place and you can usually count on them not being there. Several times a day I find myself looking for things in my house. A lot of times the scenario goes something like this; I know we have duct tape. I don't know where the duct tape belongs. I must check everywhere in the house. At other times the scenario goes a bit differently. Perhaps more like this; I know we have scissors. On Tuesday they were in the silverware drawer. I don't know if that is where they belong, but I'll check their first. Aha! The scissors are in the silverware drawer. I will put them back where I found them. The scissors now belong in the silverware drawer.

And the thing is scissors sort of resemble silverware. So it doesn't seem that weird.

I think that I tend to look for love, hope, peace, satisfaction, and fulfillment in the wrong place. Sometimes I think it is because I have forgotten where these things come from. So, naturally, I go looking for them throughout my day and often go to bed feeling empty. Other times I think that I go looking for these things in the places where I feel I have found them before. And the problem is that I may find them again, and they may resemble the love, hope, peace, satisfaction, and fulfillment that I desire, but until I acknowledge where they come from, where they belong, I don't think I will go to bed full.

I think that I doubt God's love sometimes because of this. I think that even if I feel love from my girlfriend, my friends, and my parents, I question it because I often fail to acknoweldge the source of love itself.

I think that when I don't understand that God does loves me I go looking for love and fulfillment somewhere else. And because I do not find in its fullest form I begin to view myself as unlovable and worthless.

God does love you.

The love you find in your life comes from and belongs to him.

The scissors do not belong in the silverware drawer.